Jock Poetry: What killed the greeks.
One of my many (don't lie) fans is a cam girl. Now I know, I know, cam girls are dirty and such, but she's pretty nice and she doesn't have one of those wish lists on her site so that stupid idiots on the internet can buy her stuff. But she does have a billion and a half admirers. She tells me about them every now and then and I tell her how rough it must be to have people wanting to get in her pants all the time. One time though, she tells me about this guy who wrote her a poem. To.. you know... woo her or something.
This guy, who she tells me is a total jock, wrote her a nice little poem, which I have for your reading pleasure here:
I love how it starts to fall apart at the end, so he just starts telling her how he loves her. My own personal amusement aside, my official stance on this.. creative work... is that jocks should be banned from English class. If you play more than two sports in high school, I'm sorry, you took your last English class in 8th Grade. I don't care if you like to read. I don't care if you are smart and good at sports. Something has to be done. Sacrifices have to be made. A few jocks might be intelligent enough to survive through their years drinking Paab's Blue Ribbon and driving trucks to become productive members of society. But for the good of the human race, those people will need to be left uneducated for the greater good.
Through these eyes I can see a girl
as beautiful as an ageless pearl
She's my angel, She'll always be
The one I care ful, and love so truly
As time goes on, my love grows for her
For I would do anything just to hear her (purr)
She's the one & only girl, the one I cherish and hold so tight
The one who makes me feel just right
I will be there for my princess in time of need
For she is the one I need for me.
When we spend time together
It makes me feel that it will last forever
Honey I love you so much
That time will tell what is in store for us.
What if our culture is destroyed and future generations come upon our works of literature much like we did with the greeks. What will they think of us if they see this? They'll say: wow man has really evolved since then. How did these people get anything done with all these idiots around?".
I used to see jocks writing horrible stuff in high school too, because they had to for English or wanted to be in the school magazine. They would write stories about how they tried so hard to kick the goal, making metaphors about them sweating, or they get all sentimental about their trucks and how much fun they have drinking cheap beer with the girls from the soccer team.
So this is yet another thing to tack onto my list of things to get the government to do for me. Along with Kick a Brit in the Nuts Week and several other little things to make our lives better, my proposals could make the United States a better place. Unfortunately people like jocks for some reason and there are actually those who enjoy a british accent so these may never come to bear. But I can always dream.