Erik Friend Sure Likes The Cock
My site has many things. It has stories, videos, Hatt Baby, Ask Us, photo galleries, and completely made up stuff. But most importantly, usian.org has a lot of articles that make fun of people and things. Every now and then (meaning pretty often when you take into account how often I update) I will devote an entire article to making fun of just one person. And, depending on how quickly they see it, I get my ass beat for doing so. This tradition goes back a long way. I've made fun of a lot of people; Bill, Casey, Sanjay's friend who I barely know, Myself, Tanya, and Some guy I've never even met before.
I make fun of people on the main page constantly but it takes something special to get a whole update with an article dedicated to you. And I think there's someone who's deserving of that honor who hasn't gotten it. That person is Erik Friend. I make fun of Erik a lot, and I'm sure most of you have seen pictures of him. But making fun of Erik really got started with an innocent little AIM quote. An innocent little quote that never really happened. That quote, immortalized in GIF form, is right here:
There wasn't much response to the small inconspicuous quote at the bottom of the update because it hung off the bottom of most people's browsers. An hour or so after I showed the page to Erik, though, I received a message stating simply: "You bastard! I'll get you!" from my unsuspecting victim. And also to my amusement, I received an email the next day from a girl Erik was seeing at the time asking me why he was saying he liked the cock. Putting words in people's mouth has always been comedy gold, so I'm going to take this opportunity to both roast Erik and fill an article with pictures, making it seem much bigger than it really is.
Here we see Mr. Friend dressed up for a night on the town. As we all know the 70's was a big time for swinging and promiscuous behavior. Perhaps it all started here. Young Erik went to a party or a club and dabbled in something new. Everyone around him was doing it, he didn't know there was a stigma attached!
By this point, it's gotten much worse. Drinking frilly non-beer malt beverages and packing a deep wardrobe of flowerey dress, Erik makes for Vegas. While usian.org's sources can neither confirm nor deny that the quote pasted on top of this image is what he's actually saying, I'm sure it's not a stretch of the imagination to believe it's so.
This image doesn't really relate to the explanation so much as it just screams: "I like the cock". I mean look at it!
In this picture, we see Erik making a pass at our undercover camera-man. Notice the raised eyebrow, the hands close to the groin, suggesting cock-liking, and how he's subtley leaning forwards, trying to get closer. Yes, this poor confused boy has come a long way from his experimentation, he's hunting for it now.
Here's a picture of a cute kitty. Even this is funnier with a false quote on it.
Now that you've seen the proof, and read the quote many times in laughter. I'd like to try to do some damage control. Since I'll most likely get beaten for uploading this article, I would like to state that the preceding article is a farce. Erik neither does now nor has he ever actually said he likes the cock, and to the best of the knowledge of usian.org, myself, The Usian Council, and the governing bodies of the state of Nebraska circa 1943, Erik Friend is not gay.