The Fabulous Mister Naja
The world is full of some pretty interesting and unique people. And in my experience, I'm led to believe that Los Angeles has a higher density of those people than some places. That's not always a good thing, I must say. I've known plenty of people with enough "unique" problems to drive me nuts. But there are those who cause one to marvel at them. One such is Bill Naja, a co worker of mine. Bill doesn't fall into a class of people, although lots of people try to say: "he reminds me of so and so". Of course then I tell them a story or two about him and they say: "No no, you must be talking about an Ox, people don't drink that much."
Bill and I worked together and have for almost two years now. To his credit, he can be very generous and is a fun guy. But usian.org isn't here to sing praises, usian.org is here to make fun of things; because that's much funnier. Bill is a heavy smoker, enjoys a good drink now and then, enjoys things that are annoying to others and is just an all around nice guy. Bill once lived in Las Vegas for a few months. Real people don't live in Vegas. It's all strippers, gambling, and booze; No water, all hot weather, and I'm pretty sure the Devil's own lair somewhere a little down the road. Bill says he left because it was too hot there, I don't believe that, I think he was banned. I speculate this because he is banned from all of Old Town Pasadena and I don't think that, given time and resources it would be hard for him to get banned from an entire city.
One of the greatest things about Bill though, are the things that he says. Little gems of humor encapsulated in our work days. Over time, I've collected some of these wonders in a file. Of course, the list was starting to get large so I've decided to share them here with you. Keep in mind, these are quotes from the man himself. I captured them, most times, immediately after he said them.
"I don't feel like I'm dying as long as I don't breathe"
"I don't drink that often! I didn't drink Sunday!"
"I need a favor.. Last night I was uhh... trying to upgrade the OS on my laptop and now I can't do anything with it."
"Yeah I found all these beer bottle caps under my keyboard, I was wondering where they came from"
"Four Tequila shots!? What is that guy? A pussy?"
"I feel like getting shitfaced drunk, like so drunk that I can't get off the couch to light a cigarette drunk."
"I fell asleep out in fuckin Santa Monica last night."
"I forgot my apartment number yesterday too."
"I'm not sure... I'm not a legal type guy, so I don't know if this is considered harassment."
"I don't even remember going to sleep last night."
"Why did I wake up next to a 34 year old chick in my bed?"
"Someone came over here with 99.9% Pure Isopropyl Alcohol, I thought my stomach could handle it... obviously not."
"Yeah dude, if you ever get the opportunity to drink pure alcohol.. DON'T!"
"I'm looking for greasy young lesbians... err lesbains."
"I don't even remember driving home last night."
"Man there were like 5 glasses of Vodka and 7up sitting around my apartment this morning, and only two people were there"
"..Yeah I got all that beer in my fridge, I'm probably gonna go home and drink all that before I go."
"Me? I just drank at home."
"I'm ashamed to be a fuckin sand nigger"
"Hey Vic, I have a question, uh.. did I leave my credit card there on Friday night?"
"I found my ATM card, now I just need to find the rest of my wallet."
Of course, no one can catch all the great quotes, I've missed several that I wish could be in this file. Up above I have included possibly one of the worst pictures of Bill that I could find. That way you can attach a face to the mighty quotes I've given you.