"I Think I'm Stuck"

About two weeks ago now we were over at my friend Candie's house on a Friday night. 'We' in this situation would be Eric, Eddie, Candie, and myself. We were all damn bored and, being as unimaginative as we are, decided to go back to Candie's and drink (Yes mom, I drink -- not frequently but I do). Well into my second drink of ultimate strongness, I decided it was time to pee, and so our adventure begins.

Peeing when you're drunk is an adventure in itself: you have to make sure you don't pee all over the floor, you have to remember to flush and you have to make sure you didn't pee all over yourself before you can leave the bathroom. After I had done all these things I go to leave the bathroom. Much to my dismay, the handle will not turn.

Candie's bathroom door isn't the best as it is, add to this that I'm not completely sober and I was very much unhappy with this situation. After playing with the doorknob for about a minute, Candie comes to the door and asks: "Can you get out?" to which I calmly reply: "No. I think I'm stuck.". Immediately, laughter ensues from the adjoining room. Apparently the others think this is pretty damn funny.

We tried for what seemed like five minutes of turning the doorknob, locking, unlocking, banging my head on the door (that one was my idea), and many other possible ways of getting out until the idea was presented that I crawl out the tiny little window that is four feet off the ground. I wasn't too keen on this idea and suggested possibly breaking the door as an alternate resolution.

Finally, Candie comes back to the door with a screwdriver and begins to take the knob off. After the knob came off we then tried to remove the piece that was holding the door shut but could not. As I was looking at her through the hole where the knob had been, she pulls a camera into view and snaps my picture. This didn't help at all, although Eric and Eddie got a good laugh out of it. Eventually a credit card was slipped underneath the door and I slid it into the crack. Wiggling it slightly I finally freed myself from the evil bathroom of death. Candie was going to put the door back together but I insisted she didn't in case I needed to use the bathroom at all again during the night.

Having relayed this story I'd like to mention that it was in no way the fault of me being drunk that I got stuck in the bathroom. Candie's door was messed up in the first place. Eric would like people to believe otherwise, but the drunkeness actually played very little into this situation. Also, my friends who sat around laughing at me and playing Nintendo 64 while this was going on are gomers.