Kill Your TV

Standing in the break room, peering deeply into the candy machine and trying to decide what to eat, I notice Richard the shipping guy. I say hello to him and he asks me what's up. So I tell him about my DSL and other recent things, and he begins to say something about how I won't watch as much TV anymore and then he stops. "Oh wait, you don't like TV, that's right." I tried to think what would have given him this idea and then it dawned on me.

You see, I have this shirt with a nice giant red logo on it that says: "KILL YOUR TV". And of all the shirts I have this one gets the most response from people. Richard himself has noticed it almost every time he has seen it. Originally he asked me why he should kill his TV, or why I hate TV. Other people have had similar responses, simply from reading the shirt aloud, to slightly more reactionary events. One time, I walked into a room and someone looked at me funny and then asked, rather angrily: "Why kill your TV!? Huh!? Why!?" And I started to back off and the guy was still walking towards me DEMANDING I explain this outrage of killing TV. In cases like this where people start pressing the issue I rely back on what I was told a long time ago while wearing the shirt. That someone related somehow to Jane's Addiction was responsible for it because it was a song or an album. This has it's problems too though, because some of these TV lovers think they are Jane's Addiction fans so they ask me more about that, at which point I must confess I don't know and I bought the shirt because it looked cool.

One time, when walking back from a local high school, I was standing on a street corner and I heard someone yell "HEY KID". I look over and I see a guy hanging out of a truck window who then screams: "NICE SHIRT". And then they drove off. So at least it's not all negative reactions to the shirt, although it sure is annoying when I go anywhere that people look at me for a second like they're figuring something out and then they say: "kill your.. tee.. vee". I try my best not to say something like: "You can read too? That's neat!" or "That's very good, now take a few steps back and tell me if you can still read it." Usually I just tell them how many other people have read the shirt that day and walk away.

So, in light of all this, people thinking I hate TV, people wanting to beat me up for suggesting they kill their lord and savior TV, people annoying me by wanting to read the shirt, I've decided that I'm not going to wear it anymore. I'll just wear it when I'm going to be around the house. That and my "Mean people suck, Nice people swallow" shirt. They're just too much trouble. I don't want to walk around explaining my clothing all day, and I sure as hell don't want people walking up to me tugging on my shirt trying to read my funny slogan. It's probably because they both have large lettering and red colors on them, really. But for me, I like to believe it's because they say something odd. And people just can't take odd. I mean, if I walked around with this on my shirt for a day, I'm sure I'd be in a whole world of hurt explaining myself. "Why is that drunk asian boy on your shirt?" "Are you trying to say something about my drinking habits!?", and so on, and so on...