Reply Archive I

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why aren't violets violet?
Long Long ago, in a galaxy far far away, there was a planet called Aeris. On Aeris was a robot called Voltron. But that has nothing to do with why the violets aren't violet. You see, for a love poem, to say something that's as close to 'Violent' too many times in a row will cause the mood to change. Thus, they opted for the slightly less informed use of the word blue instead of the flower's namesake color. Blue also sounds a little less dopey that purple. Saying purple a lot makes you feel dumb as well as sound dumb.

Why have there been no new 'ask us' replies?
The Ask Us queries that I receive are less than worthy for answering. Let me see if I can find one of the more lame ones in my mailbox.
FUCK i hit the wrong key, sorry
I think that's a good idea. Is this a question?
So... as you can see.. the stuff I've been asked lately isn't really that high quality. Most of it isn't even in question form.

why you no update site?
My computer first would not connect to the internet, I guess it thought I was neglecting it so it stopped connecting properly. That put the site out of comission for a little while. In an attempt to fix the fuckin thing I reinstalled RAS and then NT, neither fixed it. So I did everything I could short of format-reinstall and nothing worked. Finally, I got Win98, fdisk'd formatted and reinstalled the fucker.

Does that girl in my english class want me?
Her? Are you sure you want to know? Your answer would normally be found in the moon, which has been used by shamans and magical types around the world for milleniums. However, the moon is obscured by a tree tonight, so I will be taking my predictions from the glass of orange juice next to me. The spirits say: Yes.

How did you find out what people where searching for? (See your Jan 2 post)
Apache Server Structure keeps track of referring URLs which allows me to look through the GET method searches. It's cool, Here's an example:

So it's easy for me to see that all the hits I get are just sex crazed maniacs waiting for me to tell them about bizarre adult things. I'm still deciding whether I should change my meta tags or just add adult content. Oh, and that post was on the 31st of December 98.

Why is it you said Terry Gilliam is famous for Fargo? The Cohen brothers made Fargo. It makes you look like a dipshit.
I fixed it. Lay off already.

Why is Xeno such a corporate whore who bows to pressure from the Usian Council?
Xeno's accordance with the wills of the Usian Council show intelligence and a hard loyalty, both very virtuous attributes of his character. The individual is clearly misguided, which is reinforced by accusing Xeno of being a corporate whore BECAUSE of his actions.

Will I ever get the chance to nail Shirley Manson from Garbage?
Well, let's use mathematics here. Shirley Manson is a given, equal to a 7. So of course, on a scale of one to ten that would put you outside the range because if you want to nail her, you're either a man, or a lesbian. Either would put you out of my range. Therefore, since an out of rance number is in a different plane, your value is 'i', which I remember vaguely from trig as something to do with an imaginary number. Add pie to i and you will get iPie, which reminds me of iMac. The iMac, while fishbowl-ish in demeanor, is popular with those who are unfamiliar with computers. Checking out Garbage's website: you see that they do know enough to use flash on their site. So unfortunately your fishbowl factor doesn't make you popular enough to score the 7.