Reply Archive XIV

what the hell is that on the end of my nose?
If you are unsure as to the nature of the object on the end of your nose it could be a rare North American Morphing Bug. This bug, said to feed off the lymph stored in the end of your nose, can turn a different color when looked at directly, to check, cross your eyes. If the end of your nose looks strange, bring your hand up sharply onto the end of your nose to squash the bug.

How do you have sex?
Add 6 to 10 parts alcohol with one parts female and one parts male (some recipes use two parts male or two parts female, but I like mine best.) . Mix vigorously until hard and wet, wrap in blankets and latex, shake.

A question? You want a question? How is it you think you are worthy to recieve one of My Holy Questions?!?!
I'm probably not, is that why you gave me three questions instead of one?

was i good in bed just a few minutes ago?
Hmm? Sorry, I fell asleep.

How many times does the average person order a McDonald's Happy Meal?
Aha! A Math problem. Well let's see the average age to stop buying the McDonalds Happy Meal is around 12 I would say. And the average number of happy meals per week is most likely 2. Now, factor in the number of children that perish due to heart problems after taking in 2 happy meals per week for 12 years, 30%, and then find the remaining number of children in the world: still too many. So, the answer is: not enough.

lets say someone has a 30% chance of winning something... that means they cant really win, because they would need 51% to win right? So then how can they have a 30% chance of winning if they cant win at all? confusion..
Please don't make comments about my mother.

Why? Why?? WHY?!?
I think the reason you even have to ask at all is because you're not CooCoo for Cocoa Puffs

What's this whole thing about there being a false vacuum and a true vacuum and if the true vacuum ever got created, it would spread nullity across the universe at the speedof light-- the minute we saw the stars wink out, we'd ourselves be doomed?
I don't think that nullity is a word.

I can't understand-- she let go of my hand and left me here facing the wall. Why did she go?
Sometimes, a fart is so bad, no matter where you are, people will flee. Even the girl holding your hand. You should remember that and hold it next time.

Does Ben care that you call him stupid and mock the fact that he enjoys the taste of cheese? Do Sam and Will resent this, do they just pass it off as buddy-talk, or do they just admit that Ben is hopeless as far as his choice of friends?
Ben didn't want me to answer this question because he thought I would insult him. I was taken aback somewhat by this because when have I been known to insult Ben? Unless you consider that my exposure of his question asking incompetance as insulting. But yeah, Ben's pretty hopeless.

how come yer so damn fine?!?!?!?!
performance enhancing drugs. All of it. without them I'd just be a blonde guy with glasses.

Is that your final answer?

how are you today?
I can neither confirm nor deny the existance of a submarine in the arctic--I mean! I'm fine. Just fine. Thank you. how are you?

does cum glow in the dark if you hold up a black light to it?
Actually Human Semen does NOT glow under black light, the reason for this is that the billions of unborn children in each amount of human semen need energy to grow. The semen absorbs energy from light, especially ultraviolet light like a blacklight. And, in Nazi Germany, experiments were actually done with Jewish semen to see if blacklights would help grow young children that could be put to work in the fields. The experiment was a mild success, as it produced fine young jewish children, except of size smaller than a dime.