Reply Archive III

Why did you credit Benjamima with the "I like cheese." question when it was from I, the Xeno?
Sometimes Ben needs a little more attention than the other kids. I usually try to act surprised when I see him do things like put quarters up his nose. It makes him feel better. As for liking cheese and not knowing the difference between a question and a statement, you're stupid too.

Hi Us_, sometimes, when im in the shower, a big black man named Lonnie climbs in through the window and gets in the shower with me. Then he grabs me by the hair and forces me to do bad things to him with my mouth. He says its good for me and will make me a happier person. Im not a happier person. What should i do?!?!
Start taking baths instead of showers.

Why do you confuse a contempt for the system with stupidity?
You're still stupid Ben. Also, I have found a great new nickname for Ben, and it's nothing so easy as 'Ben the twit who thinks he has enough power to contempt my system'. I will now refer to him as the Benster. Write the Benster, here and tell him to put a picture of himself wearing the metal hat on his page.

I have been searching hi and low for the notorius and elusive Us_ I truly believe he does not exist. I am wonder if it was a figment of my imagination and if asylum was really what i thought it was. Anyway if you know anything about him or where he is I would appreciate some help. Is there really an Us_ ******* I can also be reached at *****@********.com :-) hehe :-P
Although I'm sure she didn't really plan on me putting this on the site, I know this girl and I blocked out her contact info so no sickos will go after her like they always used to back on IRC. And here's her picture, just because I happen to have it laying around. Email me if you think she's cute, I'll tell her and make her blush.

If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one around, does it get up and start dancing?
I tried 4 times to think of an answer that would be worthy of this question. I can't. It's just too weird.

What are your suggestions for removing a bothersome third nipple? Could I freeze it off, burn it off, sand it off? Do they make special nipple removal kits?
I would have to see the breast on which the nipple in question resides. Many people try to have a significant other suck it off. This does not work. Freezing the nipple off is also not a good idea, nor is burning. This will cause damage to the surface area around the nipple and possibly ome out looking worse. I would suggest having aliens abduct you and convince them to use their technology to remove the nipple. The other solution, for those who don't believe in aliens, is to get some duct tape, place it over the nipple and tear it off. This will remove anything immediately beneath the tape.

I like cheese.
Ok boys and girls, it's time for a basic grammar lesson. This is NOT a question. Because the only person I know who can't distinguish between a question and a statement is Ben, I know this came from him. Ben you're stupid. There! ridiculed in front of the world (or at least the small portion that reads my site).

Where do the porn get?
Well, since my site does attract a lot of people looking for bizarre adult stories and I have a lot of content that's not really suitable for impressionable minors anyway, I may as well add a porn link or three...

Why is your new layout so kickass?
It came to me in a dream I think. And did you know that most dream sequences portrayed on television or in movies contain dwarves but 90% of the population reports that they have never remembered having a dream with a dwarf in it?

What's with Will Smith?
Will Smith and the Son of God used to play b-ball back on the mean streets of Philly before the Son of God became a prophet and Will became a rapper. So, when they got together a few years back, the SoG decided to give Will a break and make him a movie star. It's been rumored that Will Smith actually got an extra part for the Son of God in his new movie: Wild Wild West.

who the hell are you?
I've decided to let someone else answer this one, so I picked someone randomly from the streets of Pasadena. The response to the question was:
"Fuck Off."

how many heineken have i drank?
Well, let's see. I'll guess at your relative age, 19. Then I will flip a coin, heads being 1 and tails being two, although since I don't have a coin I will assume it was tails and add 2, bringing our number to 21, the legal drinking age. Subtract from that the number of Heineken that I think are available: 12. Our number is now totally lost to the person who has had too much to drink, around 5 Heinekens. The spirits say that you're somewhere between 5 and 7.

wanna trade a link
Ok, here: The Zane Page. Might I add that this page has a picture of a stick man riding in cleavage. Now THAT's weird.