Reply Archive IX

How do you get rid of a tapeworm?
First, you should create an uncomfortable environment for him, this means you shouldn't name him or eat things that tapeworms like, such as raw meat. Next you should drink lots of fluids, in hopes that he will come surfing out. If this doesn't work, you or a doctor can try extractig it manually. The best time for this owuld be right after you've just taken a crap.

What is a Guparshnippit?
It's a piece of plastic you give to a girl from outer space that you want to have sex with.

How do you clean urine soaked mattresses?
Step 1: remove urinating agent, most likely small child, insecure adult, pet, or grandparent. Step 2: Rmove Pee-stained sheets and other articles that have been tainted. Step 3: Scold perpetrator. Step 4: turn matress over. Step 5: re-apply beddings.

how would one get themselves into the links part of you page? its funny as hell, and i want to be a part of it, cause when my page works ( i dont know when my lazy neigbor's gonna finish it), itll be funny balls, and i want people to know, my email is **********@***.***, so tell me bout it
You can add your link through my linkadd section, or you can email me the URL and I'll review it. If I like it I'll add it somewhere... What are funny balls?

Is okra really the fruit of the Gods?
Sadly, yes. When choosing other objects of the gods they forgot a fruit, and by the time they rememebred Okra was the only thing left. Even though I it's a vegetable.

Would BBQ human flesh have that same distinctive smell like BBQ chicken and BBQ pork? And if so, will it make your mouth water the same way?
The Moslems believe that human flesh tastes like pork, and a friend of mine's father told him that human flesh tasted like chicken, so yes on your first question. As for making your mouth water, only if you added some delicious A1 Steak Sauce&tm;!

How do you get rid of lice in your pubes?
Although commonly thought to be an excellent solution, havnig someone suck them out is not effective. Fire is an excellent means of removing insects however. If you cannot get the hair to light on it's own, sprinkly liberally with lighter fluid or gasoline and try again. Be careful not to burn your genitals though, that would hurt.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Uh oh a math problem. Well, the weight of the woodchuck will be defined by X in our equation. Then you must define the strength of the woodchuck, but since strength does not have a unit of measurement, I'll pick an arbitrary number: 48. Then set an average for your piece of wood, let's say 4 tons, that's a reasonable value. Now since 48 is a LOT bigger than 4, I'll subtract. With 44 being our working number, we must now divide by how much wood is available to be chucked at all. I looked at the tree outside and figured there'd probably be about 30 good sized pieces of wood in it. 44 divided by 30 is too much thinking, so I'll use 20 instead. With 2.2 we now multiply by the angle at which friend woodchuck is throwing the wood, 90, and get 198. But since our woodchuck is throwing 4 ton pieces of wood at a 90 degree angle they will fall right back down on top of him and kill him. So the answer is none.

This is a serious question, can somone please teach me to make myself come. I've stroked all day long, but nothing happens? Please Help!!!
Stroke your genitals, not your arm.